I love breastfeeding. Quinn is getting better all the time at it. He nursed well and solidly today and seems to have totally figured out the whole suck-swallow-breathe routine. He's now taking half his feeds by mouth, and I'm sure by the time his oxygen needs are within the range of going home, he will be taking all of them by mouth. He still needs the extra calories from the fortified milk though. Even with 10 extra calories per ounce every feed, he didn't gain anything yesterday and is still at 2400 g. But then I have to think that that is more than triple his birth weight and he's not yet three months old. So many things are going well.

There's something else that I hesitate to mention, out of a semi-superstitious belief that putting it in writing will make it less likely to happen, but here goes. I talked to the doctor who works at two hospitals today. First of all he went over the results from the cardiologist's exam. Quinn does not have pulmonary hypertension, which is good. He does have an open duct between his atria, which is common in utero and even up to the first year of life. It isn't affecting his oxygen needs, and will most likely close on it's own. Nothing needs to be done about it unless it doesn't close, and we'll worry about then in a year. And then the doctor said he understood I had some concerns about transferring after the fiasco last week, and were we still interested in doing that. They have room if we do. I told him I'd call Kurt and talk about it, but in the mean time, I asked about what might still need to happen. I pointed out that in the last week, since the time we were given the okay to transfer, Quinn has seen a pulmonologist and a cardiologist and are there any more specialists that might come out of the woodwork? He said no, so I guess I'll believe him. I talked to Kurt, who was all for transferring. I passed that along, and the transfer was then set up for tomorrow morning between 8 and 8:30. I'll believe it when I see it, but everyone else seemed to think it would finally be happening. Several nurses said goodbye and good luck to me today. We'll need the luck, transfer or no transfer.

1. I'm grateful I can nourish and nurture my baby.
2. I'm grateful our relationship is improving.
3. I'm grateful for beautiful days.
4. I'm grateful for baby steps on the way home.
5. I'm grateful for all I've learned about children, mine in particular.