Mama Robin spends hardly any time in the nest anymore. Keeping four babies fed is a full-time job. I see her out pulling worms and flying back to stuff them in the babies' mouths. Watching her gives me visions of what my life will be like when Quinn comes home and I'll be literally feeding one child and helping two others get fed, clothed, bathed, played with, etc. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

Believe it or not, we're getting closer to that time. Quinn is making baby steps of progress. I hope I can do justice to this explanation, as I'm still trying to grasp it myself. He has been on the CPAP for 3 days now, and was on bi-phasic setting. That means it provides different pressures for inhalation and for exhalation. The inhalation pressure helps to fully inflate his lungs, and the exhalation pressure keeps them open between breathes. At least I think that's what it means. As I said, I'm still trying to figure all this out. So, on the biphasic setting on the machine he had before, which can handle higher pressures, the PIP, peak inspiratory pressure, was about 18 cm H20, and the PEEP, positive end expiratory pressure, was about 7. But the machine he's using now apparently isn't really designed for that much pressure, and the settings were 11 for PIP and 6 for PEEP. But even that seemed to be too much for it. All night last night, the machine was shutting itself off when the PIP was exceeded. That didn't affect Quinn, but it greatly annoyed his nurse. At 6:30 this morning, it was decided to discontinue the biphasic setting, and set the PEEP at 7. So there isn't nearly as much pressure helping him inflate his lungs as there was before. And he seems to have done well with it. His O2 was in the low 30's, slightly higher than yesterday, but not surprising given the new settings. It's hard to improve everything all at once.

I hope any of that made sense, and better yet, is somewhat correct.

He gained more than 100 g yesterday. And that was "too much." This poor kid can't seem to do anything right. But it will probably even out a bit, and that puts him to 1605 g, 3 lbs 8 oz. He's gained nearly 2 pounds since birth. I watched him get weighed tonight, but he had his diaper on, and the nurse said when she changed it, she would weigh it and subtract that from the overall weight. The weight was 1650, but she didn't have a guess how much the diaper would weigh. Apparently he varies quite a bit how much he puts in it. I'm sure glad no one is weighing every drop of pee I produce.

In other less technical news, I got to kangaroo again tonight, and right away, the nurse put Quinn's oxygen down, from 36 to 30, and he stayed there until I left. He was clinging to me part of the time, and I got a couple of comments how he was holding on for dear life. It is the hardest thing to do to give back your own child. Anyway, I mentioned I was there when he was weighed, and he was very alert and active through that process. The nurse, who is his primary night nurse, and probably knows him better than I do by now, said she chose him as her primary because he seemed so laid back. And she says he loves the weighing process because he gets to look at something other than his bed. And he did seem to take in everything around him, all the sights there are to see from the corner of the room. The nurse mentioned transferring hospitals, and I tried not to get too excited. She said as long as he's stable on the CPAP and doesn't need the biphasic settings, that should be enough. I asked her what stable meant, how long they give it before it's declared "stable" and she said it depends on who the attending doctor is. I laughed out loud at that. Well do I know that set numbers are just guidelines and that these are all judgment calls, but it was sort of refreshing to hear someone admit that. But I'll continue to be hopeful. And I think I have reason to be.

1. I'm grateful for continued progress.
2. I'm grateful I could hold and commune with my baby tonight.
3. I'm grateful for all three of my children.
4. I'm grateful for nature and all that I learn from it.
5. I'm grateful I learned how to learn.