I think I'm going insane.

I've heard one interpretation of insanity to be doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result. A scene in "The Bee Movie" illustrates that well. Barry the bee flies into the window and says "Ow! What was that? Maybe this time (bang) Ow! Maybe this time (bang) maybe this time (bang)...this time (bang)...this time (bang)..."

We go to the NICU everyday hoping Quinn has made some great strides in our absence. And what we find is that some things that were up are now down, and some things that were down are now up, and some things haven't changed. The exact details vary slightly, but what it all amounts to is that there are days when I feel like we are making no progress toward the goal of getting him out of there. Today is one of those days. Quick details are: feed is up, albeit veeerrry slightly and slowly to make sure he doesn't blow up again, oxygen is up, which means breathing is down, and now it appears that a hernia surgery is in Quinn's future. The thought of Quinn going under anesthesia again doesn't set well with me. More research is in my future.

See? A rerolling of the same dice.

"The sun'll come out tomorrow..."

It actually was pretty cold, windy and cloudy today. Partly cloudy for tomorrow.

1. I'm grateful written words can't always convey tone.
2. I'm grateful for Kurt, that we pull this weight together.
3. I'm grateful this experience has connected me to friends, old and new.
4. I'm grateful I have three great kids.
5. I'm grateful for lessons learned in my life, even the painful ones.