For the second year in a row, some robins have built a nest in the tree by our front door. We can see the nest from the window. They laid four blue eggs. We don't generally use our front door anyway, and especially now, so as not to disturb them. But visiters still come there. And when they do, Mama Robin flies to another tree and squawks at them, which is when we get to see what's inside the nest.

Today I went out the front door to get the newspaper, and as usual, Mama Robin flew away. On the way back, I peeked at the nest, and found three blue eggs and one very ugly baby bird. The others will probably hatch within the next few days. I found myself wondering what things would have been like if I had waited until now to hatch. I would have been 34 weeks pregnant, long enough for lungs to develop alveoli and surfactant. But, I don't know what it would have taken to get us that far. And, more importantly, speculating what might have been has never done any good. We are where we are. And all in all, it's not a bad place, at least today.

Quinn is back on the CPAP. Hope and pray it doesn't blow up his belly this time. But it's still an improvement. It provides far less pressure than the bi-nasal configuration, and his O2 has been in the low 30's all day. He's still getting 24 ml of milk every 3 hours, but now they are packing it full of calories. They don't want to give him extra fluid, because it buids up in his lungs. So instead of increasing his milk, they are increasing the number of calories, adding 7 extra per feed. I watched the nurse carefully measure out the milk and then add the little powder packets of human milk fortifier. It's a bit strange to watch a total stranger playing chemist with my milk. But of all bodily fluids to play with, I suppose that's one of the more innocuous ones. And Quinn sure needs it, with it's added extras. All the time he spent NPO has been hard on him, and the diuretics are no help either. He's been hovering at around 1500 g for more than a week. That puts him below the charts for weight. I'm not sure I agree with the idea that he shouldn't get fluid, but I don't have a strong enough case against it. It just feels counter-intuitive. And sometimes, that's all we have to go on in life. We're all feeling our way, and that's especially true for our family right now. I never did like improvisation, but it's unavoidable now. I hope I'm performing well.

1. I'm grateful for the holiday weekend we could spend as a family.
2. I'm grateful for those who have made this country what it is, and no, that's not tongue-in-cheek!
3. I'm grateful to live in a place where my children just have to look out the window to learn the facts of life.
4. I'm grateful for Quinn's improvements today.
5. I'm grateful I've actually kept up this record of this unique time in our lives. I'm sure it will be beneficial down the road.