Just got back from the hospital. When we got there, Quinn had had the CPAP back in place for an hour and the nurse told us he was looking so much better already. We talked with the NP, who agreed with that assessment, and said his color has improved and he seems to be a bit more active, although he looked pretty limp to me. She said she remembers my description of how active he was in the womb, and in general he's been active since then, but today he just seemed tired, and she thought that he needed the extra help the CPAP gave. Kurt asked about the CPAP causing the gas issues and she said it's an issue of robbing Peter to pay Paul, and we may be trading back and forth. We looked at his x-rays from today and he definitely looks full of air, so he's still NPO. The spinal tap was apparently very easy. The concern with infection at this point is meningitis, hence the spinal tap. He got a round of gentamycin while we were there, and will get ampicillin later tonight, but it's looking like it was the breathing issue all along, so we're not as worried about the infection anymore. The culture will come back in 48 hours, and he'll have antibiotics at least until then, but things are looking up again. The NP then told us that even though it might not seem like it, for his age and size, he is still having a relatively mild NICU journey, and if it weren't for patient confidentiality, she would show us some other babies to help us gain that perspective. She also told us that she would try her best to keep us abreast of his treatment and help us be involved, but that we need to let them do their jobs in taking care of him. I realize there needs to b a balance between my wanting to be a control freak and letting them make all the decisions without our involvement at all, and I don't know where exactly that balance is. Neither does the NICU staff evidently. The NP admitted most of them do not have first hand experience in giving up any parental influence the way NICU parents are expected to do, so this is something we all need to work on together.

On the way home I heard on the radio about a new study showing gratitude improving the recovery rate of organ transplant patients. They were asked to keep a gratitude journal and record 5 things every day they were grateful for. I've done this in the past, and now seemed as good a time as any to start up again.

1. I'm grateful Quinn is looking better.
2. I'm grateful to the people who so willingly watch our older children so we can spend time with him.
3. I'm grateful to the people who brought us dinner the last two nights so I don't have to cook.
4. I'm grateful it was Olive Garden's donation night at the Ronald McDonald house at the hospital. Fetuccine Alfredo. Mmmm.
5. I'm grateful I got some laundry done today. Not only did it need to be done, it's a sign I'm improving that I can do these things again.